our lives forever was always on top. sometimes below. not forever always in the ATS. it all depends on us all ". all this now I feel. when I have lost all of it. happiness that once I can not now exist. I have to accept all this despite dala my mind I do not want to, I should be able to accept this situation. I'm sure I could pass all of this. many lessons that I can not from all this. of course I grew up in dealing with this. god I want him back all the old bleak. but is it possible? may god hear my prayer. amien. I love you my family, I promise I'll be happy mama papa. all of them.